Road Raising
by Cards
Summary: Dean thought his childhood was normal, if not that, it was what should be normal. Sam thought it was horrible. Jo, Jo just felt trapped.
1. The Way We Were

For every demon there is a different type of hunter.

And Dean knows, there are a lot of fucking demons. He measured his years and grades through them. His classes were in anatomy, (setting the shoulder, popping it back into place, now Dean, be careful, if this isn't done right we'll have to go to a hospital). He took art (counter clockwise Dean, the lines have to be straight, hurry, the sonnova is coming back.) Languages (No one speaks Latin anymore, but the popes. And they have the easiest exorcisms, but he learns Portuguese and Spanish, and even a little Creole, Sam learns it all faster, and easier.) He learns math (counting rounds of bullets and understanding how to triangulate a location based on attacks. Logic building) and history (he knows battle plans, they worked for them will work for us. He knows more about the hick towns and their ghosts then anyone else.)

He thinks that his way of life is normal. It is the only way to be.

Sam remembers screaming demons and sewing his brother up, he remembers chemistry being how much beer can we drink tonight before we have to get up and god oh god do we want to? He remembers writing a letter to Stanford saying why he doesn't have an SAT score. That, he was home schooled, never had time to sit for them, that his family moved around a lot. He had a PO box in Lawrence Kansas, they all did. For official communications only though, not like they had any other. He got his acceptance almost too late to accept it. He remembers cold nights where he's sitting in the back of the impala trying to read, but distracted by the sounds of his brother and father sewing each other up. He remembers looking at the other kids and wanting to play, but him and Dean have homework, research for the next hunt. They have target practice instead of swing sets. Instead of a blushing first date he realizes he's lost his virginity where his brother did, the backseat of the Impala.

Sam thinks that his way of life is disturbing, and he wonders how a man can raise his child like that.

Jo grew up in a bar. She remembers public school hell. She was the little girl who served beer and listened to the hunters come in and tell their stories. She sat at the seat next to the window and drew pictures of talismans and devils. She went home and like every other kid shot beer bottles off of fences. Only she imagined they were demons, she was holding the colt revolver she'd heard men whisper about. She remembers seeing her father tired, and exhilarated. She remembers being laughed at because she would come in smelling of hunter vomit. She remembers feeling oh so trapped and dear god when would she get free?

She thinks sitting at a bar listening to others travels kills you inside, that it could still kill her.

Disclaimer: Me no own.

Author's Notes: Mkay, this has been bopping around in my head like an annoying pop song This is just the prologue to a story that has very little to do with the events of people whining about their youth but it will make sense. I have a feeling that I'm about to embark on a journey that has been gone down several times and I ask for patience in you all to let me get to the good stuff.

Please review and tell me if you like what you saw. Wee!!!!


	2. Immaculate Conception

Sometimes you never know when a story begins or ends. Sam learned this during freshmen English, years after he'd actually last opened a book for anything other then looking on how to kill something. He'd had to read several books, looking for when it all started, when did humans start thinking about the world in a different way. Each book prompted him to go and grab another book from the shelves of the neatly organized and overwhelmingly large Stanford library.

But he knows where this story began. It began when he was 6 months old, on All Saints Day. Of course just because you know when something starts doesn't mean that all the key players are on the scene. He likens this to Christianity, it begins with Abraham, but really nothing gets started until Jesus the Christ comes in.

Because 23 years ago, he was around, barely cognitive, in fact he wasn't cognitive, he was a baby. See, he reasons, a key player doesn't have to really be there for the story to begin. And 23 years ago his father was there, and even though he dies later on, he is important too. 23 years ago his father considered his sons princes, not soldiers. They were both going to college, both going to leave Kansas far, far behind. 23 years ago Dean was just a kid, and that's all he had to be. 23 years ago he had a mother, who though absent throughout his life he's always wondered about. 23 years ago he didn't have to wonder. 23 years ago his mother was going to live a long life.

There are of course other characters. Jo comes in a year later, but her life doesn't change all that much from birth till they meet up with her.

Jessica was a driving force, and now she isn't. Sam still thinks about how that happened to him.

But there are two real beginnings to this story, and they run along side each other. They start out at about the same point, with an infant at 3 to 6 months.

_Things started out with an unimmaculate conception._

Dean knows that sleeping with Jo is a bad idea, Its never smart to fuck around with a girl who you don't really like, and even less smart to do it when you kind of depend on her mother for a firm house and a place to be and it's the only place that's been like home (home which he hasn't had since he was chased from it carrying Sam by fire) and it's a place where he can get a beer and sometimes you just need that beer.

But Jo isn't at the Roadhouse, She's with them and Sam is moping at a bar, and so Dean is naturally a little drunk (a little like a frat boy) but he's never not been able to perform.

And Jo is so in love with him.

She was always the weird one, the little girl who was pretty but too weird.

Dean was the first one who she really was herself with. Who didn't shake his head and laugh when she wanted to hunt. He saw her as useful, even if it was just because she was smart enough to bring cash along to bribe the landlord.

She knew he didn't love her, didn't even pretend to. The demon in Sam had told her that, and it was at least enough to kill her crush on him. But he is sitting across from her, on a bed. Him and Sam are sharing, at least that was the plan. In the end she is wrapped around him and he thrusts into her, she closes her eyes and its better then she imagined.

Dean doesn't want to remember, (he knows he shouldn't have) but Jo was there, she was available and after a hunt he wanted something, he wanted something so bad. He hadn't had sex in six months (he tells Sam that its only been a week) After a hunt he feels so dirty and exhilarated and sex is still pure, he's never ruined that (he's never been seduced by a ghost, he's been everything else by them). And he knows he shouldn't fuck her, his father taught him better. (Dean don't ever mess around with a lady.) And if his father was there he'd get a hard smack upside the head (these only started after his mom….). Because his father taught him so much better. (And sometimes Dean wishes he hadn't because he needs the contact on the lonely road, and all the women fall over Sam who doesn't want it) But he sleeps with Jo. And he does remember that she was soft, and she was under him, and that he was stupid and he doesn't remember he didn't use a condom.

To Sam that is when this story seems to really start. Not with a girlfriend or a wife pinned to the ceiling. It starts with Dean being drunk and desperate and Jo just being desperate.

The next morning Sam is still drunk, he spent the night on the couch, not noticing a bed was free. Jo goes her way and Dean nearly has to carry his much taller brother into the car and neither of them thinks about that night.

Jo forgets it for a while. She forgets the Winchesters and is involved in hunting. It's a miracle that she doesn't die, and a few months later she realizes she hasn't actually had her period. She doesn't think anything of it until she wakes up and throws up, its mainly stomach bile but she knows that something is wrong. It takes going to a doctor and fearing a life threatening cancer before she pees in a cup and they congratulate her.

She sat in her motel room, looking out the window and making her decisions. She knows somehow, that she can't get rid of it. For some reason it is the last of her innocence, her childish crush on Dean, which wasn't actually over when she slept with him. That much should have been obvious when she had in fact, slept with him. She didn't just sleep with people randomly. It wasn't in her nature. She'd been off hunting on her own for months since leaving them in Philadelphia, she'd lost so much, the anger at the Winchesters for their fathers deeds, the sweetness surrounding her eyes. The slight smile when ever a favorite hunter came in, waiting to hear his stories of the open road.

The baby is the last reminder of all that. But with it comes the question of what to do. She has to go home, obviously. Calling Dean crosses her mind, she even has the cell phone in her hand. She's dialed his number about a million times, which is totally unnecessary, she's got it programmed in. But she never does call him. She wonders what he would do.

And she starts thinking. Her mother will never let her leave the road house again, especially not with a baby, and all she's ever wanted is to hunt. She doesn't think she can give the baby the kind of upbringing she had. Her mother keeping her so grounded. She can't imagine bringing the baby into that house, a house of regrets and wishing.

Calling Dean looks easier and easier. But what does she want from him? She's stopped sitting on her bed and is packing, she unpacks at every stop. Something she's done since leaving, no idea why, its so much harder to leave quickly, but people ask less questions of a neat person. Dean's number plays itself out in her mind, and she can almost think to dial it. To call him.

She still doesn't know what she would say, what she wants from him. She knows her mother would want her to call and inform him, that if his father was still alive he'd tan Dean's hide, no matter how old the boy was. She even had an inkling of an idea that the lessons John had taught might stay with him, that he'd do the right thing.

The right thing makes her stomach curl. Before, when she thought of Dean there were these happy bubbles along with the bitterness, but now, after months of not thinking on him she felt nothing. And living a lifetime with him for this thing in her stomach, well it wasn't going to happen.

She looked down, her bags were packed and her phone was calling her Mother.

"Roadside."

"Mama"

"Jo? Where are you?"

"Just outside Detroit."

"You gunna stop by?" Her mother doesn't want to ask about the hunt her daughter has just finished, and doesn't want to know about the next one that she could go on. It's their new arrangement.

"I'm coming home Mama" Jo says.

She drives back and in the hours it takes she knows what she will do.

Sam has been for the past few months keeping in contact with Ash. Calling him, hearing about what the demon's been up to, sometimes talking with him about other things. It feels good to have someone who knows something more about life then hunting. Even if that's all he seems to do, hunt. He's lost track of things like election years, voting. He was so excited when he got his voters registration card. The few friends he had didn't understand how he could get so excited over the piece of paper stating that he was registered to vote in the state of California. He'd never voted before, never had time to actually say he lived any one place long enough to be a resident. Never had the promise to be able to stay long enough for a presidential election. He'd thrown himself into the research, knowing who he was voting for even if it was just for sheriff. Hell if garbage men were elected he'd have been informed on the candidates. Now he wasn't sure if Bush was still the president.

He talks to Ash about the new theory that has come up to explain the paranormal phenomena's, how people are explaining the strange weather with climate change information, how they don't want to see the real answers. And Sam isn't stupid, he thinks that changing oil emissions is a good thing. But its not gunna solve the problems of a demon, angry at the world for thousands of years of missed tributes.

One day as he picks up the phone, recognizing the roadhouses number, expecting to hear from Ash about some random information. "Sammy?"

"Ellen?" He asks confused, because Ellen like every other adult in his world assumes he is unable to talk with him or her about the hunt. They always ask for…

"Put Dean on the phone."

"Uh he isn't around at the moment." He's in the shower, and has been there for the past twenty minutes, and Sam doesn't want to think past that.

Ellen seems to pause on the phone, the dead air is almost too much for him, and he strains to listen to what's going on behind her, in the roadhouse. There's the faint sounds of a song on the jukebox, and he thinks he hears Jo as well. "Well I'll wait for him then."

The awkwardness sits on the line, "If its about a job…"

"Sammy, I am not in the mood to talk." Sam really does debate asking her if that is the case why she called in the first place. There isn't much to do on a phone besides talk. But he then realizes that he wants to be able to swing by the Roadhouse later on. That he really does enjoy talking with Ash about all the stuff he can. That he doesn't want these things to go away because he's bored and wants to poke holes in the world like when he was younger.

"Sammy!" Dean grinned coming out of the shower, the always almost embarrassingly too small towel barely wrapped around his middle, he held it in place.

"Oh god dean" Sam shook his head tossing him the phone and covering his eyes.

"Yeah you hide your eyes, your just… oh hello" He says as Sam shakes his head and opens up his laptop, because the TV hasn't been working since they got there.

"Dean, you and Sam aren't welcome at the roadhouse."

Dean wasn't expecting that. He'd expected her to tell him that Jo was in town, or that there was something that he needed to check out.

"What?"

"Don't come by, don't think you'll get service, don't even park in the driveway."

"Ellen, what?"

"Dean. Just stay away."

And suddenly Dean knows what it is. He knew he shouldn't sleep with Jo (but why tell her mother?) He knew that it was the wrong decision (and now he's lost their home.) He's lost so much right now, for one night (and it wasn't even good. It was desperate, and he just needed to be touched.) And now he'd lost something for Sammy, (How could he?)

Sam looks up at him as he tosses the phone back to him.

"Dude, put some pants on."

"Shut up." He says but reaches for pants. He still can't believe that he's fucked up this bad. That Ellen would react this much. And why god why did Jo tell her?

"So what did Ellen have to say."

And Dean doesn't want to say. He knows that Sam will be disappointed (Angry, he'll be angry, he'll want to scream because "how could you be so stupid.") And Dean doesn't want Sam to be angry. He wants Sam to not have to deal with his fucked up mistake, because why in the world would he mess up so horribly bad. He hadn't been thinking (and isn't that the root of all their problems?) He's been worried about finding one thing then the other. He's been searching like crazy since they killed the demon.

He's been looking for hunts, Jo met up with them on one, that's when it happened. They were fighting (barely, it was a simple salt and burn) a spirit that had been haunting someone. (he doesn't remember who, or what, only that it got him pretty bad) He was aching all over and she was there.

And now he's lost home.

_It started with a fire…_

Dean was the only person really alive after the fire. Sam was barely human (all he does is poop, and pee and eat, and that's no longer amusing now that he has to change the diaper) And his father was connected to a beer bottle. (He just sat in the front of the impala and drank and drank and drank) So Dean was only four, the woman from the church offered places to stay. And they didn't they stayed in the impala. Because his mother was gone, and he didn't know what to do.

He ran away from his mother. She scared him, and for that he would never forgive himself. His father talked a lot those days, not to him, but out, over the impala's steering wheel. He said things about Mary, about his Mommy. And Daddy changed, he changed from Daddy to dad. He changed from a man who hugged and tucked him in to a man who stared out at the road.

Then he saw the nice lady. And Dean sat with Sammy in the area with a woman who gave him some candy, felt bad, because everyone knew the Winchesters.

But Dean didn't take candy from strangers so it sat in his pocket and melted, because dad was in there forever, and Sammy cried, and he wasn't sure what to do. The nice woman came back and made dinner for the three of them. She sent the woman with the candy away. And dad didn't drink that night. (And he's so glad, because maybe this means Daddy is coming back and he can go back home and mommy won't be ashamed of him for running away) Dad sits and talks with the nice lady, they talk about evil, and the way to kill a ghost, how she can't save Mary, the body is too burnt already. But Mary was good.

And Dean silently sits eating his food and feeding Sammy, with the special spoon, the plastic coated one, (so he doesn't hurt himself). And the nice lady gives him ice because he's always crying (even though his diaper is clean and he's been burped, and Dean doesn't know what else he can do, and he's being a bad brother, because Sammy won't stop crying). And somehow she knows that Sammy will stop crying because of this.

Dad shakes his head. "I can't believe I forgot, Sammy's teething."

"You haven't heard his crying?"

"Just figured Dean would take care of it."

The woman paused, "John, that boy is four years old. He doesn't know what teething is."

Dean didn't, but he wants to, he almost asks her, but his voice hurts when he uses it.

"Oh honey, it just means his baby teeth are coming in, it hurts, and it isn't your fault. And John, how could you let the poor boy think this is all his fault." She shakes her head looking at his Dad.

_It all started in the impala_

John loved Mary, and they knew it as they laughed in the back seat of the Impala, and consummated it. Laughter and love and a promise for the world that that was what they would show it.

_Dean was the immaculate conception. The beginning of it all._

Author's notes: Okay, so tell me what you think. I normally write these really short little chapters, but I wanted these to be longer, let me know what you think of the style, if you can still tell that pov kinda changes, and if this makes sense at all. Also, please review; I really would like to know all this stuff. So please review.

Disclaimer: Me 0 Kripkie all.


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